Discovering Strength, Healing, Inspiration, Spirituality

Attempting Certainty in Your Uncertainty

So you don’t know where life is taking you? Maybe you thought you were on one path and suddenly there is a detour, and you are forced onto a road you would never have chosen on your own. And as you are going down this path you keep looking for road marks that you recognize, and sometimes you find one, but when you get up close you realize it is not the marker you know. In other words, life is filling you up with uncertainty, and you are doing all you can to regain the certainty in your life.

Lately, I have been having uncertainty on a daily basis, and I don’t like the way it feels. I’ve been trying to just ignore it, which doesn’t work out so well. I don’t know how you are with uncertainty, but even if I’ve convinced myself that everything will be okay, my body does a 180 on me and messes with my system. And this underlying physical discomfort continues to remind me that I don’t really know what is going on, even though my mind is saying, “JUST LET IT BE.”

So I’ve been working at calming myself daily, to regain my center, to just feel like me again. And daily I seem to be discovering something that does allow my mind, body and spirit to regain some balance, even if I fall off track again.

For the first few days, I did my research. I educated myself. Sometimes this puts my mind at ease, other times it just creates more worry. But I like making sense of things so it mainly helps.

I looked for stories about other people who went through what I am going through to both normalize my situation, but to also find comfort in knowing that I’m not the only one who has the questions I do. There is something very comforting in knowing I am not alone in my journey.

I have reached out to those who I love, and who love me, and just asked them to listen. And to pray for me. I find that there is great power in communal prayer or intentions of healing towards those we hold in our hearts. So I always ask for prayers when I need them.

I have opened myself more to the Spirit, and offered prayers for myself, asking to have my mind and body calmed; for acceptance no matter what the outcome is; and for blessing upon me.

I have begun to pause throughout my day and be thankful for what I already have in my life, and to celebrate these gifts more intentionally throughout my day. Gratitude heals worry.

Every time, I remember to I try to breathe in, hope, peace, and love, and to breathe out all that burdens me. Giving intentionality to my breath helps my body relax.

I am attempting to exercise, to get the powerful positive endorphins moving though my body, so my cells can be filled with healing. This creates a better balance between my mind and body.

I’ve been using the gift of remembering to put my heart at ease. I look back at times when I was filled with uncertainty that I somehow made it through. This is a source of inner strength that I can turn to over and over: I’ve gotten through difficult uncertainty before so I can do it again.

And I have been remembering that even though when I am uncertain, and I want answers right away, that getting them right away isn’t always that easy. But that the answers will come when they are supposed to, and whatever they are, I will be okay.

And I am working at being in the present moment, instead of always looking at the future.

A message to leave you with:

Thich Nhat Hanh Quote by Bella Bleue

How about you? What do you do with uncertainty that helps you feel better?

I’m always looking for ways to help put balance back into my life. It certainly is a daily chore.

Blessings, Erin, Bella Bleue

©Bella Bleue Healing™ All Rights Reserved.
Please also visit my photography site: Photography by Bella Bleue.

See my Facebook page for daily inspirations and messages.

Inspiration, Spirituality

What does Faith Feel like?

Faith Quote by Bella Bleue

So often we hear the statement, “Just have faith!” or the question, “Why do you have so little faith in me?” In every day conversation we may talk with others about what we believe. Or we may discuss what faith means. But how often do you take the time to really reflect on your experience of faith and feel faith alive within your body?

I’ve been reflecting on what faith feels like for me lately.  I’ve been needing to connect to faith that is not just talked about, but felt within. For me faith that is really deeply felt is faith that is real. It is a tangible gift, that I can turn to whenever I need to, where ever I am, no matter what is happening in my life. It’s the kind of faith that is not just felt in my mind, but in my body. And because it is within my body, and because there is nothing more real than than what I  experience through my body;I know that my faith is real.

When we are yearning for something good in our lives, something we can trust in, something we believe has benevolence and love for us, it can only fill us with hope. This faith fills our inner being with a desire to be connected  to that which we feel desires good for us, and that will care for us. In other words, believing in the Spirit, the Divine, human goodness, etc. changes the way we feel within ourselves.  Once we are in relationship with this Benevolence  we become transformed within our very being.

For me, faith fills my heart with love. The kind of love that makes your heart soar to depths beyond you. My body feels transcended to the tops of the mountains where I become closer to all that is beyond me and at the same time my feet are on flat ground  where I can bend down and touch the petals of the tiniest flower and their softness between my fingers keeps me grounded here on earth.  This softness on my fingers travels throughout my being, and puts my body and mind at ease. The wind on the mountain top fills my breath with peace, and invites my arms to open wide, so that I might receive all that is being offered. I am in relationship with the Divine.

What does your experience of faith feel like for you?

Blessings, Erin, Bella Bleue

©Bella Bleue Healing™ All Rights Reserved.
Please also visit my photography site: Photography by Bella Bleue.

See my Facebook page for daily inspirations and messages.

Healing, Inspiration, Life

Getting in Your Own Way: Missing out on Love

“Who holds you?”

This has been one of the most powerful questions I have ever been asked.(I was in my spirituality residency [chaplaincy] at the hospital, and my supervisor asked me this as a reflection question). I was stunned that as I tried to respond, I began to cry. It was the kind of cry, where you have to work really hard to get yourself together. My tears seemed to be the only answer I could give, because I honestly didn’t know how to answer the question at all. After I left our meeting, I reflected some more, and I still couldn’t put my finger on it. Why was I feeling so broken, so confused by this question?

I did the natural thing for me: Evaluate my feelings…figure out where they stemmed from…what was the reason for my tears? I even sort of fought with myself internally about my tears: I know I am loved. I come from a family that loves me. I have people around me who love me. I believe God loves me. So why then do I feel so darn empty inside, each time I try to answer this question?

This happened in 2004. Here I am 9 years later, and I still reflect on this question. The question of, “Who holds you?” for me has always meant “Who loves you?” For many years, I kept searching for what Love was supposed to be like: that perfect kind of love. But as time has gone on I realize that by searching for perfect Love, many times I’ve missed the opportunity to really embrace moments of Love in my life, because I was afraid that it wasn’t the “right” kind of love, or the way love was “supposed to be.” So I walked around life feeling empty, when Love was all around me, waiting patiently for me to let it in.

My answer to this question has changed over the years. I’ve found a peace inside myself over time…instead of trying to figure out my reaction to this question over the years, I’ve learned to  “Let it be;” i.e., trust more deeply that life will reveal its answers to me, when it is the right time.  And in many ways, I finally feel I have come to an answer that I feel to be most truthful to who I am both in my every day life and in my spiritual life. I now recognize that each time I was trying to figure out where Love was in my life,  I was actually preventing myself from experiencing it because I was searching too hard for it; i.e. I was getting in my own way of  really being able to feel “held.” Instead of searching for love in my life, I now allow myself to feel Love, to experience Love, and most importantly Love myself so that I can even more honestly share my love with others and receive love from others. In other words, I allow Love to be what it is, and not what I expect it to be. I’ve gotten out of my own way! Now I feel safe and secure with Love’s arms holding me up, with a strength that will  never break. Love is always there for me, and for you. It’s everywhere in nature, in people, in God, in the Spirit, in this amazing gift of Life, and inside you…you just need to give yourself the freedom to experience it without putting up so many walls.

How are you going to let Love into your life?

Rumi Love Quote

We all search for relationships in our lives, and deeper connections…open yourself to looking deeper within you, so that LOVE may spring forth anew for you.

You are Beloved. You are Loved.

So I leave you with my question today, “Who holds you?” 

…and just remember that whatever your answer is today, it may change again tomorrow: be gentle with yourself, offer yourself love…and your answers will come. I have faith that they will for you.

Blessings, Erin, Bella Bleue

©Bella Bleue Healing™ All Rights Reserved.
Please also visit my photography site: Photography by Bella Bleue

And if you use Facebook and would like daily inspirations and messages check out my page Bella Bleue Healing

Healing, Inspiration

New Year’s Blessing

New Year's Blessing

This Year opens a New Door
A New Story of your life
You have amazing opportunities
alive in you.
Your imagination is your greatest gift

it has the potential to:
Set new goals
Achieve new dreams
Heal broken wounds
Create and inspire
Forgive old hurts
Connect to friends
Paint a photo
Photograph a memory
Write a story

Your life is a wonder
Your mind is a masterpiece just waiting
to be revealed;
Your heart is an ocean that flows
with the tides, bringing healing, love, hope,
and peace to the places in your life where grief,
hurt or bitterness may have lived.

Heal yourself day by day,
and let your healing imagination transform your life.

Blessings, Erin, Bella Bleue

Happy New Year 2013!

What are you going to transform for yourself this year?

©Bella Bleue Healing™
Please also visit my photography site: Photography by Bella Bleue

Connecting to the wonder we are, Inspiration, Spirituality

There’s No Doubting: “You are Wonderfully Made.”

“You are [beautifully] and wonderfully made.”* It is a truth that runs through the very being of your bones; it is a truth that lies deep within the core of your being, the life-source within you.

Maybe you believe this. Maybe only sometimes you do. Maybe you are unsure…

I believe this as my truth. It’s just sometimes, I find it really hard to trust in it as always my truth.  Lately I’ve been falling into the trap of self-doubt (winter is never easy on my sometimes weary soul). But I won’t be defeated by this doubt! And as a result opened myself to positive inspiration and created this message for me, for you, for any of us, who are doubtful of the wonder we really truly are.

Trust Quote by Bella Bleue

And so that I don’t get stuck in self-doubt: I will continue to turn to my faith. I will also sit with the stories1, of others who too questioned, and doubted, but found their strength in being honest about what they were feeling, and in return received the gift of Divine Love: The kind of love that says, even when you are doubtful, I still see how “beautifully and wonderfully made you are; and I love you always, even through your doubt.”

It’s okay to be doubtful at times. We all are. It is alright to question ourselves, and what kind of wife, friend, mother, husband, father, etc. we are so that we can  be challenged to grow and develop more deeply into the persons we were created to be.

But to be doubtful of your innate creation, as beloved, beautiful  and wonderful, that’s completely unfair to you.  It takes away your self worth, and diminishes the value of your relationship with those who love you & your Creator, Spirit, God who thinks of you as a miraculous child….I needed to be reminded of this today.

Thank you to each of you for taking the time to listen. Knowing we are in this life together makes the mystery and struggles of life so much easier to understand when we travel together.

Blessings to beautiful, wonderful You.

Erin, Bella Bleue

*See Psalm 139:14
1. See Scripture and authors such as Max Lucado, Rachel Naomi Remen, John O’Donohue or whoever teaches you about the messages that are most dear to your own heart!

©Bella Bleue Healing™ All Rights Reserved.
[
I decided to change my blog name to Bella Bleue Healing™, because my deepest hope for each of us the gift of healing in some way every day].

Please also visit my photography site: Photography byBella Bleue.

Healing, Inspiration

Grateful Healing is Healthy Living

Offering “Thanksgiving:”

Open yourself to receiving the gift of gratitude in your heart. Feel your inner-being transform into a well of peace, love & healing.

When you offer “thanksgiving” for all the many Blessings you have, and allow yourself to be filled with gratitude, it changes your state of mind, and your worldly out-look is suddenly filled with a positive perspective.

  • Your body feels this positive change as well. Even the cells in your body become energized to work towards healing, and health in a more rapid focused manner.
  • You see the world as a more welcoming place, filled with acceptance and motivation.
  • You become healthier each time you allow yourself to feel this gratitude. . You look and see a healthier person in the mirror.
  • Your gratitude and energy surges into the relationships you have, and they too change for the better—they are healthier, more full-filling, more energized, more satisfying, more complete.
  • Your moments of living become gems instead of obstacles.
  • Your Life becomes a GIFT.
  • You become more deeply connected to the Holy and Sacred.

Take the time to feel gratitude, and see the powerful change that happens within you!

Blessings, Erin, Bella Bleue
©Bella Bleue Healing, Health & Inspiration for Your Life”™ All Rights Reserved.
Please also visit my photography site: Photography by Bella Bleue

Connecting to the wonder we are, Spirituality

Simply Pleasing…An Experience of Faith

What pleases you in life? What makes you feel happy right at this moment?

I have discovered my passion for photography this year. It has brought me incessant joy, and ongoing discoveries of life. It has helped me embrace the intricacies of life, that otherwise, I might have missed. And through each photo I take, I am encouraged to celebrate and feel within my spirit a deep sense of wonder…a gift each and every one of us possesses.

How do you tap into the gift of wonder in your life?

This journey of embracing and nurturing my passion for art and photography, has also deepened my faith. I have always believed in a benevolent creator, I call God, and seeing the wonder of life through my lens, has deeply affirmed my knowing of the Creator. It is so difficult for me to believe that someone or something did not create all this wonder in the world.  Involving myself so effortlessly with nature, fills my body with a sense of deep connection beyond myself and within myself. This feeling of transcendence is so natural and unforced that it can’t just be something of chance, I believe.  We all may have different ways of understanding this feeling of transcendence, but for me it is a definitive relating to the Divine.

How do you make sense of your moments of transcendent connection through the tangible and visual world?

[During my time of refection, I have discovered within myself, that I need to express more openly my experience of relating to the Divine–God. This relationship is a part of my everyday life, and so central to how I live my life and make sense of who we are—living miracles. My writings my messages and images all stem forth from my belief that each and every one of us is deeply loved by God through this amazing gift of life that each of us lives. This is a relationship I believe we all have in some shape or form…it is the relationship of yourself to that which allows transcendence to be felt within your spirit….however you name it; i.e. your spirituality. Thus, I will begin to share a bit more about spirituality here, and hope that through my sharing, you will be invited to share your faith journey, or look more deeply at what your spirituality means for you].

Blessings, Erin, Bella Bleue
©Bella Bleue Healing, Health & Inspiration for Your Life™ All Rights Reserved.
Please also visit my photography site: Photography by Bella Bleue

Inspiration, Life

Taking Time to Reflect

I took a journey over the last couple weeks to my home where I grew up. These last days, I have been soaking up the deeper meaning of who I am, my life’s journey and what I believe in [since I went on this journey].

So I have not forgotten about sharing in this journey with you. I have found myself needing more time to reflect, which has taken the pen out of my hand, and allowed me to pause. Soon I will write more.

How are you today? Where has life taken you over these last 21 days?

Blessings, Erin, Bella Bleue
©Bella Bleue Healing, Health & Inspiration for Your Life™ All Rights Reserved.
Please also visit my photography site: Photography by Bella Bleue

And a special Blessing to all those who have been effected by Hurricane Sandy.

Healing, Inspiration, Life

Inner Strength

Do we all have inner strength within us, no matter what we’ve been through in life? Or is inner strength something we have to develop?

What do you think? 

These two questions were brought to my attention after my post last week.

And, I replied:

I believe we all have inner strength within us…each time we have survived we have because of a longing to live, which is strength to me. I also believe that we become stronger as we go forward…and by going forward I mean we choose to live and not give up…and although we may not recognize the strength we have in ourselves as we go through the challenge we are facing, when the time is right we can begin to learn more about ourselves, and by learning more about ourselves we hopefully lean to love ourselves deeper, which also allows that inner strength to be stronger.

When I was 6 years old, my life changed suddenly. I changed from a healthy little girl, who was swimming state times in the pool, to a little girl who couldn’t crawl down the hallway. I was blessed to survive and recover from all that happened to my little body as a result of a horrible infection. But that illness changed who I was, and transformed me into who I am now. There were days when I would look at photos of myself before my illness, and wonder what my life would have been like if I never had been ill. That wondering, diminished my self worth; i.e., it took away from my ability to find meaning and enjoyment in my present life—we easily can take strength away from ourselves when we diminish our self worth.  But then I would walk away from the photo, and I would go about my day.  I wanted to LIVE, and that desire was stronger than any other. And nothing was going to get in my way to survive.  So even at 6 years old, I discovered that I had an amazing inner strength. And as I began to Live my life the way it was after my illness I began to recognize and accept that my life wasn’t split in two:  I was being unfair to myself to say, “if only” I hadn’t been sick then who would I have been? Instead, because I chose to Live, I had to recognize that  the experience of my illness is a part of my life and my story. The person I am today is who I am meant to be. And each day, I learn more about who I am. This is STRENGTH.

Being able to say, ” I am me. I am who I am meant to be today,” is STRENGTH.  And each day, that you remember this, and make this a part of your daily belief, You grow STRONGER.  Each and every one of us, grows STRONGER when we trust in ourselves.  And trusting in yourself becomes even STRONGER when you realize that you are where you need to be in life, But,  if you are uncomfortable where you are [within] yourself, then you need to make a change. And even recognizing this need for change, is STRENGTH.

  How about you? What makes you feel STRONGER or allows you to celebrate and care for your own Inner Strength? 

Your life is a GIFT. No matter what befalls you, if you choose to LIVE, you will always be STRONG, because you are giving yourself permission to survive, and this inner strength,  will grow stronger, the more you celebrate your life, and let go of the  “if only.”

Blessings, Erin, Bella Bleue
©Bella Bleue Healing, Health & Inspiration for Your Life™ All rights reserved.

Please also visit my photography site: Photography by Bella Bleue.

Discovering Strength, Inspiration, Life

Life’s Unexpected Travels

Lately, I’ve been needing to remind myself that some of the turns and twists that I am faced with in life, are not just to fault me, or disrupt my feeling of balance. But these twists and turns are an invitation to discover something else about myself…

How do you make sense of unexpected disruptions in your life?

Blessings, Erin, Bella Bleue
©Bella Bleue Healing, Health & Inspiration for Your Life™ All Rights Reserved.
Please also visit my photography site: Photography by Bella Bleue