Healing, Inspiration, Self-Love, Spirituality

We are Grieving and It’s Okay.

My husband and I sat down to watch Netflix. Last Tuesday, our kids were finally in bed and we were having a chance to connect and talk about how we are feeling about all the things that are happening in our world, and in our personal life. We live in Massachusetts. The schools closed on Thursday March 12, 2020. As everything was happening I was feeling fearful, worried. I couldn’t get my mind around what was going on. I worried about my kids, and wanting to make sure they were safe. I worried about my parents and their well-being. I worried. Plain and simple I was laced in anxiety. I tried my best to keep myself busy and distracted. But my body kept holding the fear. And I got tired from it…

How have you been?

Days went by, and on this particular Tuesday night that my husband and I were talking we expressed how life felt completely unhinged, upside-down. He asked, “Are you still feeling fear?” And I said, “Not as much, I think I’m just really sad. But it’s more than sadness. I think what we are feeling is GRIEF.” And he said, “Yes, I think you are right.” Grief, hu? Yes, grief. Today my 10 year old son asked me why he feels this weird feeling inside himself? And I asked him to tell me about it. Then I said, “You are feeling grief.” We talked about how we felt when our Dog died unexpectedly from a heart attack this past summer. He said, “Well, it’s not exactly like that kind of hurt.” And I shared, well no it’s not. We loved him. That’s a different kind of grief. But what we felt then is still a bit like what we are feeling now. We are feeling an unxpected loss. We have lost what “feeling normal,” feels like. We miss our friends, our activities, our freedom to go about our town, and to travel and look forward to things. We miss the life that we used to have. I imagine we all do. In fact, if you are feeling grief, it might not just be coming from within you. It is also coming from the vibration of the world. Because we are all interconnected, we all feel each other’s grief; the world’s vibration carries grief right now. And since most of us have more time to sit and reflect and be aware of our thoughts our bodies are actually telling us what we are feeling and holding inside ourselves. So we notice our feelings even more.

How are you doing?

So now what? How do you tend to your grief? You recognize and give yourself permission to feel this grief; you feel the sadness, fear, discomfort, etc. Don’t dismiss it. You do what you need to do to love yourself through this. Imagine what you’d do for a grieving family member or best friend. And do this same thing for yourself. Offer yourself compassion: “It’s okay to be feeling this.” I’ve been sitting with my grief these days. And working at tending to myself. I find that writing has been a place for me to release some of the sadness I feel. Writing this post is helping me right now. It gives me a place to feel connected. All of us being here together is healing. I imagine many of you are finding ways to release your feelings too. If not, do something out of the ordinary for yourself and be creative. If you can, go outside and listen to birds singing or notice something you haven’t before.

What are you doing to tend to yourself?

Be gentle with yourself. Know that it is okay to feel what you do. It is okay to grieve. It is okay to be you. You are created with divine design. You are formed from LOVE.

And as you go about your day. Offer yourself love. Offer someone you care for some love. And let your love heal you, and as you do this your love will help change the vibration of the world…

And you will begin to heal. We will all begin to heal together.

Blessings of healing and kindness upon you, Erin

©️2012-2020. Erin Keane. Bella Bleue. All rights reserved. No portion of any post or photo may be copied or reproduced without prior written permission from the author, Erin Keane. Find me on Instagram @Erins_blessings and at Facebook Bella Bleue Healing by Erin Keane

Author’s Note:
***We all have different reactions of how to handle what we are feeling. And my professional experience as a hospital Chaplain, has taught me each of us grieve differently. So we each have to work at accepting our friends and family with love and being supportive to each other as we are grieving. Even if the way you grieve is different from your partner’s, parent’s, friend’s etc. way of grieving. We all need each other right now. So supporting one another is deeply important to our healing.

Connecting to the wonder we are, Discovering Strength, Healing

It’s Okay to Cry, Really It Is

Why do people cry?

“Maybe emotion becomes so intense your body just can’t contain it; your mind and your feelings become too powerful and your body weeps.”–City of Angels

Have you ever cried so hard that your tears weep from the depths of your soul?

I have.  Recently…

About a month ago, I had something difficult and unexpected happen in my life. Something I wasn’t particularly prepared for, but knew could happen. And when it did, and I understood that the experience was real, I began to cry. The kind of cry where you full-out weep, with your hands over your face. And tears like raindrops creating puddles and waterfalls cascading over your hands onto the floor. The kind of tears that run down your face with trails of black mascara. The kind of cry that makes your cheeks and eyes turn red. The kind of cry that weeps deep down from the pit of your soul.  The kind of cry that leaves you feeling numb when you are done.

For a few days the tears just kept coming whenever they felt like it: washing dishes, combing my hair, hugging my husband, petting my cat… I stopped here and there wiped my nose, caught my breath, and sat quietly too.I got a break every once in a while, however, where I could feel quiet and calm.  And regain some sense of myself. And day by day it got a bit easier and the tears got a bit less…

Tears and crying are a part of our creation; they are a part of our human design; i.e., they are a part of life. We hear of people weeping in stories, we watch it happen on TV, and we also weep. Tears have a purpose in our creation. Something changes in us when we cry. So I ask, What changes within you when you cry?

  • For me I realize over and over it’s like the quote at the begining from City of Angels: allowing ourselves to cry allows the deep pain within our bodies to be released. Crying allows your mind, body and spirit  to release the pain, the anger, the grief, the anxiety, and the fear. And we are changed by this release.

Are you one to cry and let out your grief? Is it a comfortable release or something you avoid?

We each make meaning out of our emotions and others emotions differently.  Tears, and crying can mean very different things to each of us. Thus, we all have different comfort levels with grief, and especially grief that is outward, such as tears. Tears can be a very natural and comfortable release for some of us, and for others of us, tears can be very uncomfortable and try to be avoided.  How we make meaning out of our expression of emotions effects our journey of healing.

When I worked in the hospitals and visited patients, sometimes we would have a deep conversation that opened itself to the person needing to release their suffering through tears, and yet s/he would stop himself/herself  from  crying because s/he saw tears as a sign of weakness. I would encourage him/her to let out the tears, but often the person was unable because s/he wanted to be strong.

I believe tears, are a great source of healing for us. And thus, allowing ourselves to cry makes us stronger because when you cry you make space within your mind, body and spirit for healing to happen. Instead of holding in anxiety, grief, anger, fear which weaken us and can make us ill, your body is being given permission to heal because you are “letting go” of these feelings.

So my answer to my question, What changes within you when you cry? is:

CRYING allows You to BEGIN to HEAL.

So even if you haven’t been one to cry,  or even if you are one to cry..

Remember, sometimes it is good to cry and let grief have its way. Your tears allow you to release pain, sorrow, and disappointment, in a very bodily, and emotional way. And allowing yourself to cry makes room for healing and hope.

May you allow yourself to grieve when you need to, and to open yourself to hope and healing, as you go through the process.

And most importantly as you grieve:

Be gentle with yourself, you are a marvelous creation, even your tears are a part of the wonder you are.

It's Okay to Cry Quote

There is a Divine LOVE ready to embrace you.

Blessings, Erin, Bella Bleue

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