These days have filled me with lots of mixed feelings. I go from feeling tired to feeling okay, to feeling frustrated to feeling okay, to feeling okay and then tired again. I guess it’s this cycle of grief I feel. Do you find yourself grieving still too? During the days, my kids keep me busy, but I’m also filled with their emotions and energy that they are releasing about everything that seems out of place to them. So by night I am filled with my own feelings, plus all of their feelings. I notice that my body seems most agitated before I go to bed. Many of us probably feel this too. It seems to be the time that everything settles, and we become aware of how much our bodies are holding. Therefore, I’ve been doing my best to offer myself some healing before I close my eyes; to release the tension in my body; and to help my dreams be more peaceful. I realize I need to be compassionate with myself.
To heal during this time we each need to offer ourselves compassion. When you offer yourself compassion, you are allowing yourself to feel what you need to feel and understanding that feeling what you do is okay. Then you are able to allow yourself to begin to heal. You might do healthy things to alleviate your suffering or you may just need to be open and accepting of yourself by allowing yourself to feel and experience your emotions. This gift of compassion towards yourself, is a gift of Self-Love.
This is my blessing for you tonight. It is a ritual of Self-Love and Compassion that each of us can do any time during the day or right before bed.
What so many of us need to feel again. A deep internal calm. Right now the vibration around many of us is one of unsettled feelings. And this is not our norm, not the familiar. So how do you change your vibration?
Open your eyes.
You need to recharge your inner light. The spark within you that guides you towards yourself, towards Love again. It still burns inside you. Feel this spark inside you. Let it become bigger, brighter. Take yourself out into nature to recharge the calm in your nervous system. Look out into the light of the universe. Listen to the sounds of the ocean waves. Watch the awesomeness of the rising moon. Soak up the warm hues of the evening sky into your eyes, into your soul.
Then, let your soul fall into the feelings the earth calls forth within you. And as you do, fill your body with the calm and the love of the earth for you. Then open your arms wide and send your light into the world. You are the magic now. You are transforming the world’s vibration into Love.
And as each of us transform the earth’s vibration into love, our nervous systems will begin to calm. And as we calm, we we will begin to heal.
Bless you with gifts of calm. Thank you for this gift of you, Erin🦋
“Even though life may be really hard right now, remember there is a deep place of Hope that lies inside each of us. Surrender to the hope the lies within you let it lift you from the darkness just as the flower turns to the sun and opens itself to be held in the light.”
The last few days have been hard days. And I imagine there will be more challenging days ahead. My nervous system has been on high alert since the changes in our daily lives happened two weeks ago. Having more of an awareness of my own grief and the collective grief we all feel has helped me calm myself, as I realize more and more that we are all in this together. It has also helped me recognize how I need to be so much kinder to myself. We all need to be kinder to ourselves. We need to be intentional about caring for ourselves. We need to give ourselves the chance to heal day by day.
Self-care is not something I am always very good at. My three children keep me busy. And now that they are all home for the next couple months I am finding I need to be even more intentional about taking time for myself so that I am able to take on life’s storms without feeling completely overwhelmed. Today was a day I was able to have a moment of genuine self-kindness. The late morning sun was shining brightly. My children wanted to play outside, so I joined them. They ran to play in the dirt, digging with shovels. So I took this opportunity to enjoy the sun. I pulled a lawn chair out and sat down. I didn’t realize how much I needed the sun to warm my face, until I was able to be still for a few seconds. My husband and I enjoy superhero shows. We were watching Superman with my son the other night and got to talking about how Superman revitalizes his body and strength through the sun. As I sat outside I thought about this and let the sun soak into my being. This moment was short-lived: my 2 year old needed my help on the slide, but it was long enough to awaken some hopefulness inside me. As I reflect on this moment I realize that the earth, creation as it is in its wholeness, is still here happening all around us. The rising of the sun is constant. It has not left us in our darkest time. It continues to shine. It continues to awaken the earth into the birthing of spring. The melodies of the birds have not changed. They still sing with the sun’s rising and celebrate its light throughout the day. And even though each bud is hidden beneath the darkness of the soil, they still rise. They rise above the darkness and they follow the light.
This rising is a metaphor for us all. The sun is our gift right now. It is beckoning us to rise from our darkness, by shining its light upon us. It is giving us HOPE; it is telling us that being in ‘this darkness’ is not permanent. We too will rise again, different and better.
What do you hope for? What does hope feel like for you?
May your day be filled with something that brings about hope within you. Remember that your spirit is resilient. You have overcome difficulties in your life before. Remember these moments of your rising up from the darkness. You will overcome again.
Let HOPE grow inside you. Your hope awakens hope in others. We continue to change the vibration of the world with the energy of hope that we share.
My husband and I sat down to watch Netflix. Last Tuesday, our kids were finally in bed and we were having a chance to connect and talk about how we are feeling about all the things that are happening in our world, and in our personal life. We live in Massachusetts. The schools closed on Thursday March 12, 2020. As everything was happening I was feeling fearful, worried. I couldn’t get my mind around what was going on. I worried about my kids, and wanting to make sure they were safe. I worried about my parents and their well-being. I worried. Plain and simple I was laced in anxiety. I tried my best to keep myself busy and distracted. But my body kept holding the fear. And I got tired from it…
How have you been?
Days went by, and on this particular Tuesday night that my husband and I were talking we expressed how life felt completely unhinged, upside-down. He asked, “Are you still feeling fear?” And I said, “Not as much, I think I’m just really sad. But it’s more than sadness. I think what we are feeling is GRIEF.” And he said, “Yes, I think you are right.” Grief, hu? Yes, grief. Today my 10 year old son asked me why he feels this weird feeling inside himself? And I asked him to tell me about it. Then I said, “You are feeling grief.” We talked about how we felt when our Dog died unexpectedly from a heart attack this past summer. He said, “Well, it’s not exactly like that kind of hurt.” And I shared, well no it’s not. We loved him. That’s a different kind of grief. But what we felt then is still a bit like what we are feeling now. We are feeling an unxpected loss. We have lost what “feeling normal,” feels like. We miss our friends, our activities, our freedom to go about our town, and to travel and look forward to things. We miss the life that we used to have. I imagine we all do. In fact, if you are feeling grief, it might not just be coming from within you. It is also coming from the vibration of the world. Because we are all interconnected, we all feel each other’s grief; the world’s vibration carries grief right now. And since most of us have more time to sit and reflect and be aware of our thoughts our bodies are actually telling us what we are feeling and holding inside ourselves. So we notice our feelings even more.
How are you doing?
So now what? How do you tend to your grief? You recognize and give yourself permission to feel this grief; you feel the sadness, fear, discomfort, etc. Don’t dismiss it. You do what you need to do to love yourself through this. Imagine what you’d do for a grieving family member or best friend. And do this same thing for yourself. Offer yourself compassion: “It’s okay to be feeling this.” I’ve been sitting with my grief these days. And working at tending to myself. I find that writing has been a place for me to release some of the sadness I feel. Writing this post is helping me right now. It gives me a place to feel connected. All of us being here together is healing. I imagine many of you are finding ways to release your feelings too. If not, do something out of the ordinary for yourself and be creative. If you can, go outside and listen to birds singing or notice something you haven’t before.
What are you doing to tend to yourself?
Be gentle with yourself. Know that it is okay to feel what you do. It is okay to grieve. It is okay to be you. You are created with divine design. You are formed from LOVE.
And as you go about your day. Offer yourself love. Offer someone you care for some love. And let your love heal you, and as you do this your love will help change the vibration of the world…
And you will begin to heal. We will all begin to heal together.
Author’s Note: ***We all have different reactions of how to handle what we are feeling. And my professional experience as a hospital Chaplain, has taught me each of us grieve differently. So we each have to work at accepting our friends and family with love and being supportive to each other as we are grieving. Even if the way you grieve is different from your partner’s, parent’s, friend’s etc. way of grieving. We all need each other right now. So supporting one another is deeply important to our healing.
Look inside yourself,
the place where Love lives
the Love that makes you feel bigger than yourself,
(like Love for your children, your spouse, your pets etc.)
the Love that makes you feel alive,
the Love that makes you feel whole…
Feel this Love:
Let it flow from you
just as it does each time you share it,
but this time stop it before it leaves
and turn it towards yourself,
filling all the places within you:
your cells, your heart, your skin, your mind & soul
with your own powerful Love.
Let this Love you give to others
be the Love you give yourself.
Feel this Love:
Hold the frightened one
the grieving one,
the hurting one,
and tell them gently
what you need to hear,
and let yourself scream,
let out your cries,
curl up and hold yourself in your arms,
all the while Loving Yourself with this great love from within you.
Feel this Love:
Send all of your Love to You.
the same kind of Love
that the sun offers the Earth
as it rises in the morning,
embracing everyone, and everything with its light
beaming hope upon you
and awakening your body, mind and soul to their
Healing Power.
As you awaken to a new decade of your life, my hope for you is that you may more fully discover yourself and love yourself more deeply.
You have whispers in your heart,
They call to you,
LISTEN…
they are the messages of LOVE,
the echoes of your creation,
reminding you
of who you truly are.
BE STILL.
Wait.
You feel yourself connecting
reaching,
being held by this LOVE
The LOVE that formed you
birthed you into creation,
This LOVE is the Eternal,
it is the light of divine imagination
dwelling inside you
It beams from you and unites you
with the light of others,
Interconnected
throughout all eternity.
Embrace these whispers
for they are LOVE speaking to you.
Allow this LOVE
to be with you,
to hold you
to carry you
to guide you
and awaken you
to Yourself.
Calm.
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