Oh, that unfortunate feeling of anxiety, filled me up with so much worry! But once I got my bearings, took a breath…well actually a few. Sat back, reflected. Talked it out, and of course Wrote about it…it slowly began to lose it’s power. As it lost its power, I was able to see more clearly and react in a proactive and positive way. Seeing more clearly, I actually took the time to read my emails–the enjoyable ones I don’t usually make enough time for… It seems like for whatever reason, when you put your trust in the energy of the world as benevolent towards you, the answers you need fall right in your lap.

I read,

I bet you don’t always feel like a conqueror-there is often so much to deal with in life that is beyond our control.
–Spirit of Life Community/Ministry

The minister mentions in reply, that she is reading a book by John O’Donohue called, Beauty:the Invisible Embrace:Rediscovering the true sources of compassion, serenity and hope.
O’Donohue writes,

We feel most alive in the presence of the Beautiful for it meets the needs of our soul. For a while the strains of struggle and endurance are relieved and our frailty is illuminated by a different light in which we come to glimpse behind the shudder of appearances in the sure form of things. In the experience of Beauty we awaken and surrender in the same act. Beauty brings a sense of completion and sureness. Without any of the usual calculation, we can slip into the Beautiful with the same ease as we slip into the seamless embrace of water; something ancient within us already trusts that this embrace will hold us…”

Okay, I thought, somehow beauty is going to help me conquer today. I’m not sure how, but it is. I went out in my yard with my son and stood there and listened to the birds sing while he played in the sandbox.

I really listened. And somehow my heart began to ease even more.

I looked up at the beautiful buds, and the little baby leaves, blowing in the wind.
And I was profoundly aware that I was a part of something greater than myself…Something Beautiful…something loving, something telling me, it’s going to be okay…

I took a deep breath and soaked this in.

And last night before I went to bed, I took pictures of the flowers I brought inside to keep the sense of sureness & completion that the Beautiful was providing me with earlier that day.

So I did conquer! I don’t feel like life is beyond my control any longer…well at least for today! Because I’m connected to something greater than me…and I know I’m not the only one who gets anxious. We all do. And knowing that makes the feeling much more bearable. We all know what it’s like. We’ve all been there… And we WILL CONQUER if we just give ourselves the chance!

Blessings, Erin, Bella Bleue
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