Tag: Parenting

Blessing, Connecting to the wonder we are

You are a Living Blessing

Erin Keane

Once blessed, [you] are blessed forever.

–Rachel Naomi Remen, M.D.

The verbal act of blessing is a marvelous gift. I have been pondering the gift of blessing more intentionally as I look upon my 3 year old son this week. I have been very attune to my feelings as a parent these last days, thinking of what it is like for all these families of Sandy Hook Elementary  who have suffered so greatly because of the loss of their children  and daily sending my prayers around them. It  has been touching to read about the acts of service that have been offered to honor the lives of those who have died. See Ann Curry’s  #26 Acts.  But as I have thought about these acts,  I have also began to think more about the children who have lived through this terror: the children who will carry the fear, the hurt, the loss of their childhood innocence with them forever,and I realized they too need to be remembered. They too need to be celebrated. They too need to be blessed. They need to be allowed to be children, and to be celebrated as children. We need to bless the living while they are here, so that they recognize their lives as blessed.

One of my favorite authors introduced to me in my training as a spiritual counselor was Dr. Rachel Naomi Remen. She shares stories that invite you to look more deeply at your own sacredness, and that invite you to celebrate your life as you are living. The quote I shared today, comes from a wonderful story she shares called, Blessings, from her book, My Grandfather’s Blessings. She shares a story of how her grandfather would bless her each time she was with him…how he accepted her and celebrated her for just being the little girl she was created to be right there in the moment. And that these blessings have stayed with her forever.

So I invite you to act out service whenever you can, but make blessing those you meet a part of your day every day, by receiving them just as they are at that moment, with an open heart: Sit with those who are grieving and listen, praise your children for just being the wonderful individuals that they are,  tell your friends that they are a blessing in your life, and so on.  And remember that no matter how life treats you or what befalls you, “Once you are blessed, you are blessed forever.”  So even if that blessing came along when you were 1 day old, you are blessed each and every day since then:

This is a blessing that says you are a wonder of the world, you are amazing just as you are, you are a beautiful soul, a wonderful friend, a Divine creation, a symbol of love; you are a blessing unto others, and to yourself. 

By offering blessing to those we meet, and by recognizing ourselves as a blessing as well, we heal the world, and celebrate life.

I join you in this offering of blessing. I will continue to work at teaching my son how to love, how to do acts of service, how to “pay it forward,” every day of his life. But right now, most importantly I will bless him, and love him for all that he his, so one day when he walks out the door, and I am not there to guide him through his day, he will know he is beloved, so no matter what struggles he encounters, he will already know deep in his heart he is blessed; and that will be something no one can take away from him, but it will also be a reminder each day for him, that he is wonderful, and that his life matters. And by blessing him, I will teach him to bless others along his journey: to take the time to be present to people, to celebrate their lives, to bless this gift of life that he has and that he shares with all of us who live on this planet.

You are a blessing quotes

You are a blessing!
Blessings to you, Erin, Bella Bleue
©Bella Bleue Healing™ All Rights Reserved.
Please also visit my photography site: Photography by Bella Bleue

Discovering Strength, Healing

Loving the Best We Can: Living through Tragedy.

Erin Keane

Yesterday, afternoon, my son and I were visiting a friend and her daughter. The children played and we talked about the challenges of being parents, and how hard Life can be when we love our children so deeply. We had no idea about anything that was happening in Newtown, CT, as we discussed the challenges of life. Life was happening right where we were, and yet LIFE was also happening only a couple hours away from our home.

As we went about our visit, we engaged our children, resolving conflicts and teaching them how to acknowledge each other’s feelings, especially when they hurt the other child’s feelings. Sometimes the children  freely went up to the other to say I’m sorry, other times they resisted feeling they had a right to defend themselves. And yet, through it all we offered them our LOVE, in the very best way we knew how…accepting and receiving both children as beloved, beautiful, and whole…we affirmed them, redirected them, challenged them, we mirrored empathy and compassion for the other, as well as for self.   Both my friend and I, acted out of LOVE for our children, and for each other’s child as Sacred, Beautiful, and Whole.

After we said our good-byes my son and I got into our car, and turned on the radio, and then we began to hear The News. But none of the radio stations mentioned what had happened. It was as though, God, was watching over me as a mom, to not know what happened as I drove,  because when I took a moment to cook dinner and go on my phone to check the web, I began to sob, and the sounds of the cook vent drowned out my tears, as my son played on the floor with his cars in the other room. I would have probably had to pull off the road if I had been driving, and how would I tell my 3 year old son why mommy was crying?

Our hearts ache as parents, as people who love, as people who are deeply good. Every day, we Live, we have to work at Life. There is something about encountering the Sacred innocence of children in pain, that breaks at our souls. Its a deep hallow grief that goes to our core. This pain we feel, says something about who we are as we have been created: We were not made to be so broken. We were not made to ache the way we do. Our created selves were made to be whole, to be filled with love.

So I ask myself, deeply, as a parent, a mother, a wife, a friend, a sister, a daughter, am I loving the right way? As I engaged my child and lead him in conflict resolution, and learning to accept and love the other even when your feelings have been hurt, I wonder, am I teaching him LOVE? I hope and pray that I am every day of my life.

What happened in Newtown wasn’t just about one person, it is about all of us. It’s about our culture that glorifies violence, and death. We hush our voices when we talk about God, and so often we give up on trying to learn how to Love the other, because it’s too hard or he or she doesn’t complement us the way we feel they should, so we give up and fill ourselves with emptiness or loneliness instead.

Life goes on around us all the time. We may not be in the middle of the chaos, or we might be right in the center of Ground Zero; where ever we are Life is happening. We have a choice each day, how we are going to offer our love to our children, our spouses, our friends, and neighbors. We have a choice to stop and pause, no matter how busy our days are, and let someone else know, “I SEE YOU. I AM TOTALLY PRESENT TO YOU: TO LISTEN TO YOU, TO LOVE YOU, TO HEAR WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY BOTH IN YOUR WORDS, AND IN THE EMOTIONS OF YOUR BODY.”  We also have a choice to let God, Spirit, Love, into our lives more, so that we don’t have to do all this hard work alone. For we have a Creator who desperately wants to be a part of our lives, and to carry our burdens for us. But so often we don’t want the help, or we are too lost to ask for help, because so many of us are just too busy to notice when someone is hurting or we turn away.

So today, and every day, remember to take the time to LOVE. It will be the greatest gift you can ever give, and ever receive. And keep trying, Keep Loving the Best you can every day, for you, and for all those you cross paths with.

May God, ease the pain of the brokenhearted, and enter our lives, to teach us more deeply about LOVE.

Tell and show those you meet along your walk in life & Tell and show yourself:

You are Loved Quote

May you be blessed by Love, Erin, Bella Bleue
©Bella Bleue Healing™ All Rights Reserved.
Please Visit my Photography blog: Photography by Bella Bleue

Connecting to the wonder we are, Spirituality

Your Spiritual Path is a CHOICE.

Erin Keane

What kind of wonders in your life have you chosen to be open to lately?

Your stories: the ones you choose to remember,  and the ones you choose to define yourself by effect your spiritual life, and who you are. We all are spiritual beings in some shape or form. We all long for something beyond ourselves, even if we feel secure here in this world. It is a natural part of our human existence to always be searching, to always be looking for ways to feel fulfilled. And thus, we are always growing spiritually, because each of us are growing and developing the unique, marvelous persons that we are. Furthermore, your life is effected by spiritual moments because you have a choice to be open to receiving and allowing wonder to be a part of your being or you can choose to be closed, and completely miss the opportunity; i.e.;  if you are open to experiencing your life you will receive much, on the other hand, if you choose to be a bystander in your life, you will receive little.

Looking out into the crisp November sky, as I hold my three-year-old son’s hand, and talk about squirrels gathering nuts, birds flying home, and cool cars driving by, I realize how this is an incredible  moment in my life. It is a moment of feeling blessed to be a mother; it is a moment of embracing the openness my of my son to experience the newness of life; it is a moment of feeling connected to what I can see: nature, my son’s little hand in mine, and that which I cannot see, but feel: the transcendent power of God and Spirit in my soul.

I have chosen to be intentional about embracing the wonder of life, such as re-experiencing the world through the eyes of my son. This choice has continued to nourish me spiritually…I find myself to be like a well, that always has room to be filled more. Looking at the squirrels today through my son’s eyes, allowed me to celebrate the mystery of their lives: right now they are gathering food, and building warm nests from the fallen leaves. They have no one telling them this is what they are supposed to be doing, they just know. This gathering and preparing is a natural part of their creation. In so many ways, you and I are like the squirrels too, when we allow ourselves to naturally be who we are, we discover our spiritual path is a natural part of who we are, and thus become open to the gifts a spiritual life  offers.

What kind of spiritual path are you on right now?

Blessings, Erin, Bella Bleue
©Bella Bleue Healing, Health & Inspiration for Your Life™ All Rights Reserved.
Please also visit my photography site: Photography by Bella Bleue

Connecting to the wonder we are, Inspiration

You’re Just So Good

Erin Keane

“You are such a good person.” “Your dog is such a good boy.” “You are such a good friend.” “You always take good care of your plants.” There are so many times a day that we say someone or something is GOOD.   Having positive feelings and acknowledging the “Good” around you and in your life opens yourself to accepting and loving yourself and others more deeply. But I wonder, for all the goodness around you, how often do you look at yourself and say, deep down inside, “I am good?” 

I know for me that believing and saying  this statement can be challenging at times. I often ask myself: “Am I good mother? Am I a good wife? Am I good believer? Am I a good person?” It can be so frustrating that negativity sneaks into our hearts and minds at times, and does its best to try to beat us down. So how do you change this belief so that you can really believe you are good?

I’ve been reflecting on this a lot lately. My son is three-years old now, and I’m noticing how much my reactions to him seem to effect the way he views himself. I’ve been trying to be encouraging, as he attempts to do new things, like potty-training, even when he is unsuccessful or stubborn. I am intentional about saying to him, “Good Job;” or “You are being a good boy.” We’ve put stars on a chart when he is successful in his endeavors, and provide him with praise. But sometimes, I fail and get frustrated, and express my disappointment.  And I notice his face will become sullen, and then I begin to judge myself, and wonder, “Am I taking away from his ability to trust in himself as good?” Here I am as a mom, trying to instill deep within my son, that he is a good person. I want him to trust in this as his truth. I want him to believe deep down inside, “I am good.”  So that no matter what he faces in his life such as let downs, mean people, or a break-up, that he can trust in his inherent goodness. 

I wanted to divulge deeper into this because this sense of goodness  is not just about me or about my son, but about all of us. It’s a question each of us ask ourselves, no matter how absolutely perfect or imperfect we believe we are.

So, here I am working on it. And I turn back to the words, I just wrote: “inherent goodness*.”  Inherent means, “existing in something as a permanent, essential, or characteristic attribute.” (Online definition). I am good. You are good. I was created with goodness deep down inside. You were created with goodness deep down inside. But its not just deep down inside—your goodness is a part of your being…it’s in your eyes, your heart, your mind, your feet, your ankles, and elbows, it’s even in hairs on your head. And if this goodness is all over you, then you must be “Good.”  There’s no getting around it, as long as you can trust in it.

But! of course I get in my own way, and I don’t trust, saying, “Well, you might be good, but you are broken too. You aren’t always so wonderful to be around. And at times you can be really mean.” And then my day, turns the corner and I’m back to forgetting about my wonderful, amazing, “inherent goodness.”  It is this on-going battle that can be harmful if the power is given to the negative. I realize that embracing inner goodness, comes from acknowledging that we need guidance about what can be harmful to us, as well as, affirmations about what can be helpful to us, so that we don’t get stuck in this on-going battle of am I good, enough? Thus, begins the answer, to the question: How can I believe that I am good?

I can trust that I am good, even when I feel I am broken, or mean, by admitting when I am wrong, by asking for some guidance when I need to change my inner direction towards that which is good, rather than the negative; and to recognize that celebrating my inner goodness also means I need to have a healthy balance between my expressions of frustration and affirmation. For example, I need to remind myself that my feelings of anger, or frustration do not change my goodness…these feelings are here for a reason when they occur, but I need to let them go, so they do not consume me, and I need to reconnect to my deeper goodness—which for me is also my connection to God.

How would you answer the question, How can I believe I am good? 

  • Take some time and reflect by imagining a circle where I am good is at the top of the circle, and you create your answers along the path of the circle, that bring you back to your truth: I am good.

——————————————————————
*Inherent goodness, as I am using it, also means that there is a deeper longing in us to connect to the Sacred, that which is truly good.

Blessings, Erin, Bella Bleue
©Bella Bleue Healing, Health & Inspiration for Your Life™ All Rights Reserved.

Healing, Inspiration

Allow Yourself to be Proud of You!

Erin Keane

Every one of us is filled with special gifts. We all are unique in our own special way. When you give yourself permission to feel pride within your heart, body and mind for your gifts, you can create a sense of gratitude within your being.  When you actually feel this gratitude, you are giving yourself love, and acceptance.  Being proud of yourself encourages a positive sense of yourself. As you feel proud of yourself more, you begin to love yourself more deeply. As you love yourself more deeply, you begin to treat yourself with more dignity and respect.

In this day and age, we are either encouraged to show our pride, which often can be misinterpreted for boasting, or we are shamed, and told not to be proud of our accomplishments because it can be seen as boasting.  (See Glennon Melton’s Post about Bragging Rights). Either way it’s really difficult to win. But the truth is you can win by being grateful for your gifts—i.e. humility. Being grateful allows you to feel good about yourself. When we are able to feel good about who we are, feeling proud no longer becomes a ‘bragging right,’ rather, feeling proud becomes a source of self-Love.

Allow yourself to be proud of your gifts and abilities, and by doing so, Love Yourself more:  As you love yourself more deeply and honestly, others will feel and notice this about you and in return feel love from you—being near you may cause them to discover a deeper love for themselves.

I felt moved to write this post because for me, one of my greatest challenges is feeling like “I’m good-enough.”  The deep truths of who we truly are, are so often revealed in our days as babies and children…somehow we just forget about it when we ‘grow-up.‘
Today, my little boy had a deep sense of pride in his eyes because he kept himself dry (potty-training). And as I looked at him and saw this sense of pride and accomplishment, I was filled with a sense of joy–I knew,without me saying any words other than, “Good-Job!” that he deepened his love and understanding of himself as a person at that moment.

And thanks to my two-and-a-half year old son, I was reminded that I too deserve to be proud of myself and thus, love myself more deeply.

WE ALL DESERVE TO BE PROUD OF OURSELVES, AND THUS, LOVE OURSELVES MORE DEEPLY.

A lesson you will have to  learn again and again: to see yourself with your own eyes, to love yourself from your own heart.–Oprah, from Oprah’s Letter to Her Younger Self

  • You have gifts & abilities. We all have gifts and abilities
  • You deserve to feel proud about who you are and what you offer.  We all deserve to feel proud about who we are and what we offer
  • When you feel proud of yourself—pride that is derived from a positive sense of self–not pride that is done to be boastful—you channel love for yourself throughout your mind, body and soul.

Congratulations to each of you for all you do and, all you share with the world! You are wonderful & amazing!

Blessings, Erin, Bella Bleue
©Bella Bleue Healing, Health & Inspiration for Your Life™ All rights reserved.

(Take a look at a post by my friend an fellow blogger Lisa,  How about a Little Tenderness?)

(See the Free Dictionary for a more detailed definition of Proud).

Healing, Life

Treating Yourself with Tenderness

Erin Keane

Providing yourself  with a source of quiet can create a sense of calm within your life and in your body, and rejuvenate you.

The last few days have been very noisy. Noise seems to be something that seeps into my being and removes me from being balanced in my life. I have become more attentive to my body lately, and realize how deeply I hold experiences, sounds, touch, etc. Thus, I really am trying to be better about taking care of myself.

Tonight I took my pup, out for a walk after sunset, in a light drizzling rain. And I became profoundly aware of the quiet all around me. There’s something really peaceful about the night, especially at twilight. It has always been one of my favorite times of my day. There is something about the world getting ready to go to sleep that feels me with a sense of gratitude and peace.

As I walked I opened myself to this peaceful quiet and let it soak into my bones and flow through me (even the rhythm of my footsteps calmed me–moving our bodies in a repetitive motion is calming—think of rocking a baby).

I am feeling this sense of quiet deep within me, and I take it with me even as I walk into the hustle and bustle of my home life. I let myself feel it within me–and being connected to my peaceful self creates a boundary around me–separating me from the chaos, even though I am in it. My body does not soak in the noise this time and I feel whole.

What brings you a sense of calm/quiet? Are you good at allowing yourself to experience calm when you need to?

May you become more deeply aware of your body, and nourish it with calm and quiet. You deserve it!

Blessings, Erin, Bella Bleue
©Bella Bleue Healing, Health & Inspiration for Your Life™ All rights reserved.

Healing, Health, Inspiration

Your Body Holds Deep Wisdom: A Metaphor

Erin Keane

Your body holds a deep wisdom. Your deep truths to healing and connection flow right in the very cells and tissues of your created body. When you listen to the wisdom of your body and work as a partner in your body’s healing you actually become healthier.

A metaphor for the wisdom of your body:

Pregnancy is an amazing and mysterious state of life. When I got pregnant with my son, I was amazed at how my body just seemed to know exactly what to do. You are going about your normal way of taking care of yourself: eating, working, exercising, talking, & sleeping, and yet your body is being transformed millisecond by millisecond to make space for a little person who will be changing your life forever. Your organs are being pushed around and moved to different places in your body, and yet they still function exactly the way they are supposed to in order to keep you living and well. You don’t have to give orders or say, move this way; they just know. Your body knows.

I’ve always been the kind of person to pay attention to what my body is telling me. But I haven’t always been very good at listening to what it is really saying. When I was pregnant I started to really listen though. And I realized that my body really is a miracle.

Your body really is a miracle.

I didn’t have to tell my body to produce  milk for my son, it just did.
I didn’t have to tell my organs to go back to where they belong after birth, they just did.

I did have to care for myself though, and show my body gentleness and respect, so that I could heal. We have to work as companions with our bodies towards our healing. Your body already knows what it needs to do to seek healing and well-being for you-i.e. bodily wisdom, but you need to work with your body so that the healing can be effective. If you work with your body to be well and heal, you will heal.

If you work against your body or do not take care of your body your healing will take longer and your body may work against  you–I also know this is true because I had many healing complications after my pregnancy because I wasn’t taking care of myself (my depression was in control then).

What has your experience of physical, mental or spiritual healing been like for you?

This metaphor of pregnancy and the wisdom of your body isn’t just for those who have given birth, it is a metaphor of bodily wisdom for all  persons.

Your body knows what it needs to do
to heal
to create
to be well
to regain strength.

Take time to be with yourself today
to listen to your body
to be aware of your body
to feel your body
to experience your body—being cognicent of all your organs, cells and tissues working to keep you well.

Your body has deep wisdom. Learn from it. Nourish it. Love it.

Blessings, Erin, Bella Bleue


©️2012-2020. Erin Keane. Bella Bleue Healing and Blessings. All rights reserved. No portion of any post or photo may be copied or reproduced without prior written permission from the author, Erin Keane. Find me on Instagram @Erins_blessings and at Facebook Bella Bleue Healing & Blessings by Erin Keane.

Life

A Passionate Life is A Fabulous Life!

Erin Keane

It is so easy to say, I’ll get to that tomorrow…and sometimes it is exactly what we need to say. But when it comes to your dreams, how many tomorrows are going to happen before you begin to Live out your desires, your inner longings?

You only have one life to live so, why live a life that’s making you unhappy?! 

Sometimes you might not recognize your passions because you are too busy being someone else-or doing something else — i.e.,-being unfulfilled/not taking time to know yourself. (I know I’ve been there!)

But when you begin to really know YOU–you begin to feel fulfilled. The dreams, passions, desires in YOU can become real, when you recoginize them as part of YOU:

Each and every one of us has something about us that makes us come alive/something we have passion and desire for…and hopefully you can write down a list of more than one! If you haven’t already done so take some time with yourself and reflect on what really makes you come alive.

  • Pause for a bit. 
  • Reflect. 
  • Get to know yourself.
  • Write down your dreams/passions/desires

I was listening to Tony Robbins on CBS; He shares that to follow your dreams/desires,

[You have to have both drive, and strategy…but to get where you are going you have to have the right strategy]–“If you long to see a sunset and you run East, then you have the wrong strategy.”

Now that you know what your dreams/passions/desires are you need to

TAKE ACTION!

Like Tony says, “If you run East, then you have the wrong strategy;” But don’t just give up here. When you are following your dreams, sometimes you have to pause on the journey; and if you are going in the wrong direction you need to be attentive enough to your direction to:

  • Pause
  • Reflect
  • Reconsider
  • Redirect

and change your course. And try again! As many times as you need to, so that you can find your way.

You are an amazing miracle. There’s no one else in the world like you.

So when you follow your dreams, and touch the world with YOU, You not only begin to know and love yourself more, but you also begin to heal the world—Happiness and Fulfillment are very powerful energies—They produce incredible Light!

And you give life a gift: Life gets touched daily with sprinkles of Inspiration: YOU and your Life are Inspiring to others!


A Good book to check out is the Four Hour Work Week by Timothy Ferriss.

 

Blessings, Erin, Bella Bleue

©Bella Bleue Healing, Health & Inspiration for Your Life™

Life

Washing Away Our Scratches

Erin Keane

So the inspiring moment I want to share with you today comes from my 2 1/2 year old son…from the ‘Mouth’s of Babes’ we learn deep truths about our humanity…the truths we often forget when we are adults…

Me: “S, you have a scratch on your head.”

S: “I do?!”

Me: “Yes, right above your eye.”

S: “Okay mama. Can you wash it off for me?”

And with that…

Wouldn’t it be nice if all we had to do was wash away our scratches at the bathroom sink?

Sure it would.

We have the chance to wash away our bruises, scratches, boo-boos every day—even the ones deep down inside us.

How are you going to take care of yourself today?

  • Set a realistic goal about self-care
  • Be intentional about carrying it out
  • Reward yourself for your good deed…for you!

Blessings, Erin, Bella Bleue

©Bella Bleue Healing, Health & Inspiration for Your Life™