Loving the Best We Can: Living through Tragedy.

Yesterday, afternoon, my son and I were visiting a friend and her daughter. The children played and we talked about the challenges of being parents, and how hard Life can be when we love our children so deeply. We had no idea about anything that was happening in Newtown, CT, as we discussed the challenges of life. Life was happening right where we were, and yet LIFE was also happening only a couple hours away from our home.

As we went about our visit, we engaged our children, resolving conflicts and teaching them how to acknowledge each other’s feelings, especially when they hurt the other child’s feelings. Sometimes the children  freely went up to the other to say I’m sorry, other times they resisted feeling they had a right to defend themselves. And yet, through it all we offered them our LOVE, in the very best way we knew how…accepting and receiving both children as beloved, beautiful, and whole…we affirmed them, redirected them, challenged them, we mirrored empathy and compassion for the other, as well as for self.   Both my friend and I, acted out of LOVE for our children, and for each other’s child as Sacred, Beautiful, and Whole.

After we said our good-byes my son and I got into our car, and turned on the radio, and then we began to hear The News. But none of the radio stations mentioned what had happened. It was as though, God, was watching over me as a mom, to not know what happened as I drove,  because when I took a moment to cook dinner and go on my phone to check the web, I began to sob, and the sounds of the cook vent drowned out my tears, as my son played on the floor with his cars in the other room. I would have probably had to pull off the road if I had been driving, and how would I tell my 3 year old son why mommy was crying?

Our hearts ache as parents, as people who love, as people who are deeply good. Every day, we Live, we have to work at Life. There is something about encountering the Sacred innocence of children in pain, that breaks at our souls. Its a deep hallow grief that goes to our core. This pain we feel, says something about who we are as we have been created: We were not made to be so broken. We were not made to ache the way we do. Our created selves were made to be whole, to be filled with love.

So I ask myself, deeply, as a parent, a mother, a wife, a friend, a sister, a daughter, am I loving the right way? As I engaged my child and lead him in conflict resolution, and learning to accept and love the other even when your feelings have been hurt, I wonder, am I teaching him LOVE? I hope and pray that I am every day of my life.

What happened in Newtown wasn’t just about one person, it is about all of us. It’s about our culture that glorifies violence, and death. We hush our voices when we talk about God, and so often we give up on trying to learn how to Love the other, because it’s too hard or he or she doesn’t complement us the way we feel they should, so we give up and fill ourselves with emptiness or loneliness instead.

Life goes on around us all the time. We may not be in the middle of the chaos, or we might be right in the center of Ground Zero; where ever we are Life is happening. We have a choice each day, how we are going to offer our love to our children, our spouses, our friends, and neighbors. We have a choice to stop and pause, no matter how busy our days are, and let someone else know, “I SEE YOU. I AM TOTALLY PRESENT TO YOU: TO LISTEN TO YOU, TO LOVE YOU, TO HEAR WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY BOTH IN YOUR WORDS, AND IN THE EMOTIONS OF YOUR BODY.”  We also have a choice to let God, Spirit, Love, into our lives more, so that we don’t have to do all this hard work alone. For we have a Creator who desperately wants to be a part of our lives, and to carry our burdens for us. But so often we don’t want the help, or we are too lost to ask for help, because so many of us are just too busy to notice when someone is hurting or we turn away.

So today, and every day, remember to take the time to LOVE. It will be the greatest gift you can ever give, and ever receive. And keep trying, Keep Loving the Best you can every day, for you, and for all those you cross paths with.

May God, ease the pain of the brokenhearted, and enter our lives, to teach us more deeply about LOVE.

Tell and show those you meet along your walk in life & Tell and show yourself:

May you be blessed by Love, Erin, Bella Bleue
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