Oh, that unfortunate feeling of anxiety, filled me up with so much worry! But once I got my bearings, took a breath…well actually a few. Sat back, reflected. Talked it out, and of course Wrote about it…it slowly began to lose it’s power. As it lost its power, I was able to see more clearly and react in a proactive and positive way. Seeing more clearly, I actually took the time to read my emails–the enjoyable ones I don’t usually make enough time for… It seems like for whatever reason, when you put your trust in the energy of the world as benevolent towards you, the answers you need fall right in your lap.
I read,
I bet you don’t always feel like a conqueror-there is often so much to deal with in life that is beyond our control.
–Spirit of Life Community/Ministry
The minister mentions in reply, that she is reading a book by John O’Donohue called, Beauty:the Invisible Embrace:Rediscovering the true sources of compassion, serenity and hope.
O’Donohue writes,
We feel most alive in the presence of the Beautiful for it meets the needs of our soul. For a while the strains of struggle and endurance are relieved and our frailty is illuminated by a different light in which we come to glimpse behind the shudder of appearances in the sure form of things. In the experience of Beauty we awaken and surrender in the same act. Beauty brings a sense of completion and sureness. Without any of the usual calculation, we can slip into the Beautiful with the same ease as we slip into the seamless embrace of water; something ancient within us already trusts that this embrace will hold us…”
Okay, I thought, somehow beauty is going to help me conquer today. I’m not sure how, but it is. I went out in my yard with my son and stood there and listened to the birds sing while he played in the sandbox.
I really listened. And somehow my heart began to ease even more.
I looked up at the beautiful buds, and the little baby leaves, blowing in the wind.
And I was profoundly aware that I was a part of something greater than myself…Something Beautiful…something loving, something telling me, it’s going to be okay…
I took a deep breath and soaked this in.
And last night before I went to bed, I took pictures of the flowers I brought inside to keep the sense of sureness & completion that the Beautiful was providing me with earlier that day.
So I did conquer! I don’t feel like life is beyond my control any longer…well at least for today! Because I’m connected to something greater than me…and I know I’m not the only one who gets anxious. We all do. And knowing that makes the feeling much more bearable. We all know what it’s like. We’ve all been there… And we WILL CONQUER if we just give ourselves the chance!
Blessings, Erin, Bella Bleue
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bellableue.com 
Beautiful post, words most, and flowers. I am reading that book! It is how I feel, that I Need beauty, that it essential, and cleansing, a counter and an assuage to the rough and pains of life. I am glad that you are feeling better, and wish you a light heart for your tomorrows. You are not alone… ever. Peace and happiness, Erin, and thank you so much for the beauty you bring here. ~ Lily
Thank you, Lily! How are you enjoying the book? I was aware of O’Donohue but have not read very much of his work. Hope you have a wonderful weekend! Blessings, Erin
I am not so far into the book as I am reading two others and some poetry, too. I had to read the “coping with divorce” book first, then had a novel I had started, and a couple volumes of poetry. But, I do like how O’ Donohue so values the appreciation of Beauty, as I do, and as you do. I don’t think I’d be alive if music hadn’t carried me along through some bleak times, or maybe God spoke to me in a gentle language I cook understand…
Thank you for your weekend wishes. The same to you, Erin! ~ Lily
Music has carried me along in my life too. It has released the tears when I couldn’t on my own, and got me up dancing when I didn’t think I could be happy. I find that God does speak to us in ways that make the most sense for who we are…in ways that make us notice. It’s nice knowing God gets this about us…especially when we’ve been through such difficult and painful experiences in our lives. Thank you as always. I hope your day is blessed! Erin
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
Wonderful post! It really did touch me today- as I was very anxious about . . . Life. But it is hard to just let go and “go with the flow” so to speak. I like to hear how others deal with it.
Thank you for sharing. It seems like once we know it’s happening we can get a grasp on it. I hope your day is better today, and that you feel a bit more free of those anxious feelings! Blessings, Erin