Do you ever get that feeling of being out of control? The kind of feeling you get when you are at the highest point of a roller-coaster and you drop completely out of the sky in a free-fall with no one to catch you?
I do.
It’s that feeling of being completely helpless and disconnected from reality—
It’s uncomfortable.
And yet as you walk through your day, you know only too well, this is your Life; it ‘s not a dream; you are wide awake and living.
When I used to get like this, I’d fall into that yucky pit of depression. But now I intentionally sit back, give myself some space from my life, and reflect—It is so important to give yourself permission to be removed from whatever it is that’s making you feel out of control—like today…I am grateful that my toddler son took a nap. I needed some “Me-time.”
WE ALL NEED ‘ME-TIME.’
Thankfully ‘Me-time’, provides space for reflection and gives me the distance I need to reconnect to myself, and realize, “Yes. Feeling like this isn’t any fun. And I don’t want to get stuck here. So how can I make a change? What can I do right now to get myself off the side of the road, and back into the driver’s seat of my life?”
I ask myself these questions:
- Why do I feel this way today?–I am feeling angry/sad because…. (these are the emotions that make me feel out of control…what are the emotions that make you feel out of control?
- It’s okay that I feel_____. (Affirm your feelings—they are a part of you—and nobody’s perfect!) But I don’t like feeling this way. So how can I change the way I feel?
- I can change the way I feel by changing my state: I want to feel happy/good. What can I do to make these positive feelings real for me instead of the negative feelings I’m having?
- What are proactive things you can do for yourself that will help you feel the way you want to?
Then the answers start coming…For me, I need to write, when I’m feeling out of control. It grounds me. It re-centers me. It brings me back to my core.
This re-centering has helped me feel better now—I feel more like me again; I’m back in the driver seat of my life, and I can see where I’m going. No more free falls for today!
How about you? What are you going to do to help yourself feel better today/tonight?
And remember to give yourself that gift of ‘ME-TIME’
You deserve it!
Blessings, Erin, Bella Bleue
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the me time is excellent, i plan to share it with other friends of mine.
Wonderful! I hope you get to do something good for yourself today too! Blessings, Erin
This is great advice. This is similar to a 3 step process I use: 1. Be aware of my thoughts, 2. Question them, 3. Change them if they’re not serving me. As for the bit about changing state, Tony Robbins teaches a brilliant technique called the Triad. All states require a certain Physiology (how our body is), Focus (what we’re thinking about) and Language (the words we are using). By changing any or all of these we can immediately change our state. Superb post. Thanks. 🙂
Thank you for your affirmations! I like your 3 step process. And Congratulations on the notice of your book launch! How exciting! Blessings, Erin
I really like this post! There are so many people I know who have been and still are in this position; especially parents who don’t have a more than an hour to think about themselves.
Just know that when people are feeling down and read about other people who are experiencing the same feelings or problem it can astonishing make a change in someone’s life. Letting them know they’re not alone and that they can get through this situation. I think your blog is meaningful and helpful to many!
You sound like such a positive & intelligent person and I’m glad I found your blog! Looking forward to your next post!
Katie
Katie, Thank you for your affirmations. I agree, hearing that others feel the same way as me or are challenged in similar ways makes everything I feel more “Okay.—and it’s wonderful when we can be connected to know we are not alone in what we feel.” 🙂 I also like your blog, so informative–and you write in a way that makes it fun and interesting!
I am happy we have crossed paths!
Blessings on your day today and always, Erin
Yes, just last night I was feeling depressed and cranky. A friend suggested I just push everything aside and rest. So, that’s what I did and today I was ready for my day with a smile. Thank you for reminding us!
Oh, I’m glad you got to have a day with a smile! I hope today is a good day for you too 🙂 Blessings, Erin
Oh my goodness! This is EXACTLY what I went through last year when I hit the lowest point in my life and decided to flip it upside down. I followed your questions almost to a T, it’s like I just read something that I could have written only 8 months ago. I did ask myself “Why do I feel this way today?” and I answered it. However, I said “It’s not okay that I feel __” because it was making me miserable. I focused on the positives rather than negatives, I focused all my energy into productivity instead of depression, and I was extremely proactive. To make a long story short, the love of my life broke up with me because I was a living ball of pure negative energy. All he ever did was try to help but nope, I didn’t listen until he was gone. Without him, I got hit by “me-time” – hard. I realized I needed to stop looking at all the negatives in life and realize that I had a lot of things to be truly happy about. I changed my entire life in two hard months, got a part time job, completed my college classes with straight A’s, started my business, and won the love of my life back because he noticed my life change and how hard I was working to become a better person. Amazing, wonderful things can happen when you are happy with who you are. I changed for myself, because I felt like I needed to, and I accomplished more in two months than I ever thought I would in a lifetime. 🙂 Thank you for posting this, and I apologize for the long comments but I just felt like I had to say something about it! “Me-time” really works.
What a fabulous journey you have been on. It sounds like one that was difficult in the beginning, but that new life and new beginnings are happening to you and for you! There is so much truth in what you say about ‘Me-Time.’ Being able to step back from our life—especially when we are feeling stuck–and being able to really reflect and get to know ourselves does amazing wonders for us. I am grateful for your long comments! They are wonderful! Blessings, Erin, Bella Bleue