Bella Bleue Healing™

"We all search for Healing, Connection & Deeper Meaning in our Lives…"


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Getting in Your Own Way: Missing out on Love

“Who holds you?”

This has been one of the most powerful questions I have ever been asked.(I was in my spirituality residency [chaplaincy] at the hospital, and my supervisor asked me this as a reflection question). I was stunned that as I tried to respond, I began to cry. It was the kind of cry, where you have to work really hard to get yourself together. My tears seemed to be the only answer I could give, because I honestly didn’t know how to answer the question at all. After I left our meeting, I reflected some more, and I still couldn’t put my finger on it. Why was I feeling so broken, so confused by this question?

I did the natural thing for me: Evaluate my feelings…figure out where they stemmed from…what was the reason for my tears? I even sort of fought with myself internally about my tears: I know I am loved. I come from a family that loves me. I have people around me who love me. I believe God loves me. So why then do I feel so darn empty inside, each time I try to answer this question?

This happened in 2004. Here I am 9 years later, and I still reflect on this question. The question of, “Who holds you?” for me has always meant “Who loves you?” For many years, I kept searching for what Love was supposed to be like: that perfect kind of love. But as time has gone on I realize that by searching for perfect Love, many times I’ve missed the opportunity to really embrace moments of Love in my life, because I was afraid that it wasn’t the “right” kind of love, or the way love was “supposed to be.” So I walked around life feeling empty, when Love was all around me, waiting patiently for me to let it in.

My answer to this question has changed over the years. I’ve found a peace inside myself over time…instead of trying to figure out my reaction to this question over the years, I’ve learned to  “Let it be;” i.e., trust more deeply that life will reveal its answers to me, when it is the right time.  And in many ways, I finally feel I have come to an answer that I feel to be most truthful to who I am both in my every day life and in my spiritual life. I now recognize that each time I was trying to figure out where Love was in my life,  I was actually preventing myself from experiencing it because I was searching too hard for it; i.e. I was getting in my own way of  really being able to feel “held.” Instead of searching for love in my life, I now allow myself to feel Love, to experience Love, and most importantly Love myself so that I can even more honestly share my love with others and receive love from others. In other words, I allow Love to be what it is, and not what I expect it to be. I’ve gotten out of my own way! Now I feel safe and secure with Love’s arms holding me up, with a strength that will  never break. Love is always there for me, and for you. It’s everywhere in nature, in people, in God, in the Spirit, in this amazing gift of Life, and inside you…you just need to give yourself the freedom to experience it without putting up so many walls.

How are you going to let Love into your life?

Rumi Love Quote

We all search for relationships in our lives, and deeper connections…open yourself to looking deeper within you, so that LOVE may spring forth anew for you.

You are Beloved. You are Loved.

So I leave you with my question today, “Who holds you?” 

…and just remember that whatever your answer is today, it may change again tomorrow: be gentle with yourself, offer yourself love…and your answers will come. I have faith that they will for you.

Blessings, Erin, Bella Bleue

©Bella Bleue Healing™ All Rights Reserved.
Please also visit my photography site: Photography by Bella Bleue

And if you use Facebook and would like daily inspirations and messages check out my page Bella Bleue Healing


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Oh, Anxiety! Why Don’t You Just Leave Me Alone?!

I hate that feeling of anxiety. The kind of anxiety that is there when you go to bed and still there when you wake up. It’s that kind of anxiety that comes from uncertainty…the unknown.

I would love to create something that would just make it all go away….I guess I’d have to know the future then. And if that was the case then the enjoyment of creating my future would disappear, because I’d already know what was going to happen. Plus, I might not like what was going to happen. Or I might be too focused on the future excitement, that I would forget to live in the present moment and just enjoy being alive.

So maybe being anxious is what I’m stuck with.

MAYBE NOT!

Ok!

Breathe

So I’m not going to let the chronic anxiety take over. I’m going to be sensible and  just let life be.

Breathe

Let life be. But that’s what’s making me anxious.  So I’m going to do something!

Breathe

I’m not just going to sit by and let my life happen.

Breathe

 I’m going to do something about it!

Deep Breath.

I’m taking the time to pray and ask for some guidance…

My inspiration came from my husband this morning. I said, “I don’t know if I’ve got it in me to write my blog right now. I’m just not feeling that inspired. I’m worried about…” He replied, “Well, this is when you need to be writing the most. This is when you need to challenge yourself.” Okay…I’m challenging myself. And the funny thing is he was right. Writing about the hard stuff…unwanted feelings of anxiety…actually helps make the anxiety have less power. Writing forces the anxiety out. It doesn’t just sit right on top of my gut.  I think I will be better off today. Maybe I’ll be even more proactive because I’m not letting the feeling of anxiety control me. Instead I’m in control of my destiny. And I have the choice to determine how I’m going to feel about it.

So chronic anxiety, I’m dissing you today. I’m kindly asking you to leave, and if you don’t my other feelings of hope and inspiration are going to have another thing coming to you!

Be well all of you, and keep your head up.

It’s a new day!

Blessings, Erin, Bella Bleue
©Bella Bleue Healing, Health, & Inspiration for Your Life™


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A Passionate Life is A Fabulous Life!

It is so easy to say, I’ll get to that tomorrow…and sometimes it is exactly what we need to say. But when it comes to your dreams, how many tomorrows are going to happen before you begin to Live out your desires, your inner longings?

You only have one life to live so, why live a life that’s making you unhappy?! 

Sometimes you might not recognize your passions because you are too busy being someone else-or doing something else — i.e.,-being unfulfilled/not taking time to know yourself. (I know I’ve been there!)

But when you begin to really know YOU–you begin to feel fulfilled. The dreams, passions, desires in YOU can become real, when you recoginize them as part of YOU:

Each and every one of us has something about us that makes us come alive/something we have passion and desire for…and hopefully you can write down a list of more than one! If you haven’t already done so take some time with yourself and reflect on what really makes you come alive.

  • Pause for a bit. 
  • Reflect. 
  • Get to know yourself.
  • Write down your dreams/passions/desires

I was listening to Tony Robbins on CBS; He shares that to follow your dreams/desires,

[You have to have both drive, and strategy...but to get where you are going you have to have the right strategy]–”If you long to see a sunset and you run East, then you have the wrong strategy.”

Now that you know what your dreams/passions/desires are you need to

TAKE ACTION!

Like Tony says, “If you run East, then you have the wrong strategy;” But don’t just give up here. When you are following your dreams, sometimes you have to pause on the journey; and if you are going in the wrong direction you need to be attentive enough to your direction to:

  • Pause
  • Reflect
  • Reconsider
  • Redirect

and change your course. And try again! As many times as you need to, so that you can find your way.

You are an amazing miracle. There’s no one else in the world like you.

So when you follow your dreams, and touch the world with YOU, You not only begin to know and love yourself more, but you also begin to heal the world—Happiness and Fulfillment are very powerful energies—They produce incredible Light!

And you give life a gift: Life gets touched daily with sprinkles of Inspiration: YOU and your Life are Inspiring to others!


A Good book to check out is the Four Hour Work Week by Timothy Ferriss.

 

Blessings, Erin, Bella Bleue

©Bella Bleue Healing, Health & Inspiration for Your Life™


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Open Your Eyes and See…

This is what I see…

What do you see?


Take the time to pause and notice life around you. Your eyes are a gift and the world we have to see, somewhere, somehow, holds something beautiful for you to behold every day.

 

 

 

Blessings, Erin, Bella Bleue
©Bella Bleue Healing, Health & Inspiration for Your Life™


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“If I Had My Life to Live Over”

If I Had My Life to Live Over…

Courtesy of Wallpaper from Iphone

I’d like to make more mistakes next time.
I’d relax.
I would be sillier than I’ve been this trip.
I would take fewer things seriously.
I would take more chances.
I would eat more ice cream and less beans.
I would perhaps have more actual troubles, but I’d have fewer imaginary ones.
You see, I’m one of those people who lives sensibly and sanely, hour after hour, day after day.
Oh, I’ve had my moments,
And if I had it to do over again,
I’d have more of them.
In fact, I’d have nothing else,
Just moments, one after another, instead of living so many years ahead of each day.

I’ve been one of those persons who never goes anywhere without a thermometer, a hot water bottle, a raincoat, and a parachute.
If I had it to do over again, I would travel lighter than I have.

If I had my life to live over…

I would start barefoot earlier in the spring, and stay that way later in the fall.
I would go to more dances.
I would ride more merry-go-rounds.
I would pick more daisies…

~ Nadine Stair
85 yrs. old

You are alive right now! So make the most of your life starting today!

Ask yourself this question right now:

What would I wish I had done differently?“—Thinking ahead to your future, knowing what you don’t want to regret/or wish was different about your life will help you know now how to better live your present life:

  •  Write down your answers on paper
  • Set up your answers like a “Bucket-List”
  • Hang the paper up somewhere where you will see it so you can be intentional about your goals
  • Start making the changes you want to see happening in your life immediately! –”You can do anything you put your mind to!”
  • Change the way you live your life now!

So this becomes your answer when asked,”What would you have done differently?”

 ” I love the life I’ve lived. I love the life I’m living! There’s not a single moment of my life I’d want to change.”—because you made the effort to work on living fulfilled in your present life!

  • Give yourself the gift of being fulfilled starting today!

If you like the question/quote from Nadine Stair you might also enjoy the answer of Erma Bombeck,– it may give you some ideas of things you want to work on in your life.

You deserve to be fulfilled in your life every moment!

Have a wonderful day!

Blessings, Erin, Bella Bleue
©Bella Bleue Healing, Health & Inspiration for Your Life™


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Love Has Not Forgotten You Today

Healing is a daily journey. If you have experienced dark places in your life, you know how challenging it can be to try to climb out of these holes. And after you’ve been there, you know how hard it is to feel love, receive love, and give love again….not only involving loving others, but most importantly involving loving yourself.

Because you are alive, and living be kind to yourself and bless yourself with these gifts:

Be ever so gentle with yourself today. Be kind to yourself and say, “It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to feel, even when feeling hurts.  I can breathe.      I am alive. I’m real. I am enough right now in this very moment. I am me. I am a gift unto the world. My life matters! And what I feel matters. And, now I’m just going to be, right here, right now, in this very moment.” -Bella Bleue

*Love/Light will always find you and carry you out of your darkness, if you allow yourself to be found. Love/Light is always there waiting for you even when you aren’t ready to see it or know it, but the moment you do want to know it, Love/Light is there to embrace you.

Blessings, Erin, Bella Bleue
©Bella Bleue Healing, Health, & Inspiration for Your Life™

*Love/light in this context may evoke different names or meanings to you. Fill in the sentences with whatever word/name speaks to you!


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Give Yourself a Chance

When I was looking around YouTube last week, I came across this video by chance; and both during and after the clip I felt very moved!  Take a look and note what you feel, from  Britain’s Got Talent

Sometimes we need to experience something rather than just read about it. Your feelings evoked through your senses can bring forth deep knowings of your own humanity.

But the deeper message here seems to be what the title of this blog is, and what Susan Boyle states, “I’d never been given the chance before.” Life is about taking chances, chances with sharing yourself-your gifts. When I worked with patients in the hospital who were near the end of their life, I would listen to their stories, their life-reviews. Often they would share with me, what had meant the most to them about their life journey: usually they talked about their relationships, or about their days as a dancer, pianist, artist, basketball player, boxer, etc. Sometimes they would tell me about a broken relationship they wished could have been fixed; or they would talk about gifts they never used–”I was a marvelous dancer but never did anything more with it when I got married;” “I always wanted to paint a mural but never offered my talents;” “I always wanted to restore vintage cars but never had the time,” and so on. I listened and talked with them, accompanying each of them so that they could find healing, and die without regret.

Something else one of my fellow bloggers mentioned to me, that I wanted share with you; he writes at http://thechangeyourlifeblog.wordpress.com; (see comments). The courage found in Susan Boyle to take her chance at sharing herself was not the moment she went up on the stage, but the moment in her life that she decided to make the journey to the show.  We have to make choices to get up and make our life change. What is the moment in your life that you are going to make the change to move towards bigger and better things in your life?

You are living right now! Instead of missing out on your life and wishing it could have been different, live your best life with the belief that

Blessings, Erin, Bella Bleue
©Bella Bleue Healing, Health & Inspiration for Your Life™


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You are Enough with Some to Spare

.

Last week I posted a question, “What gives you inspiration in your life?” I was surprised and somewhat disappointed that no one had anything to share. The one comment I did get suggested that we miss inspiration in our life due to disillusionment, and often turn to something besides ourselves to find inspiration and more precisely fulfillment because we don’t trust enough in ourselves to be the amazing, wonderful, awesome persons we are.

I can say this statement with honesty on my back: During my year-and-a-half long battle with postpartum depression, there was frankly nothing in my life that could inspire me nor really fulfill me. I wanted to be inspired, I wanted to be the best mom and wife I could, but I didn’t trust that I was and instead of being inspired, and joyful, I was left empty and angry. I was angry with myself that I couldn’t be there for the ones I loved most, especially my husband and best friend, the ways they needed me to be. And for a long time I didn’t understand why I didn’t have the energy to be there for them. The only one I kept my spirits up for was my baby boy, but after I’d say good-night to him, I’d go to my room and cry. The never-ending sea of tears. I could have filled all of Lake Michigan with my tears. But I needed to cry, and I needed to be gentle with myself, gentle enough to finally say, yes I do need help.

We all need help in life. We need the encouragement of the ones we love to say to us, “You are an inspiration in my life.” You inspire me with your kindness, with your smile, with your touch, with your laughter, with your wonderful meals, your hospitality, your listening ear, your voice, your music, your dedication, your ability to say no, and so much more! Sometimes we just can’t get on the right road. We need our friends, and family to be our GPS. We need them to reveal to us the inspiration inside us, so we can trust more in the wonder we are and begin to heal ourselves.

You are amazing, wonderful and an inspiration to others! Don’t forget it! Make this belief a part of your day every day, and you will begin to feel inspired, and thus begin to heal. By healing you will be ‘inspired’ to share yourself, and others will learn from you and heal too! 

Remember, You are Enough Always!

Blessings, Erin, Bella Bleue


©Bella Bleue Healing, Health & Inspiration for Your Life™


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Feel Great!–Free Yourself Today!

You can strain every fiber of your being, trying to be flawless, only to face inevitable failure or you can stop worrying about perfection which instantly makes everything Feel Great—Martha Beck from her Oprah article, “Take a Load Off”

It certainly can be challenging to see yourself as the incredibly wonderful person you are, when you are always trying to be perfect. You are already fabulous with out being perfect. And Life is a gift,so why not enjoy it? And to enjoy it you need to let go of all the expectations you put on yourself, and just do the best you can and then move on. Letting go of your worries really will Free you!

People won’t remember how perfect you are, they will remember what kind of person you are! Your love, your laughter, your kindness, your sympathy, your empathy, your words, and your actions are more defining of who you are than how perfect you are.

Be Intentional About Change in Your Life:

  • Leave work at a reasonable hour and do something good for yourself—it will actually improve your performance!
  • Do something fun with your spouse, significant other, or friend on the spur of the moment instead of having to have all the laundry done, etc.—creating memories and celebrating just being with the ones in life who mean the most to you, will be what you remember when you begin to review your life.
  • There’s no way to be the perfect parent: You will make mistakes, but being loved is what matters most to your little one…so love with the depths of your heart, and you have succeeded!
  • Feel free to add in other things that YOU need to work on.
  • Create Goals: to make a significant change in your life, that will free you from your NEED to be perfect. Once you get at the root of why you have this NEED to be PERFECT, you will begin to be free of allowing worries and fears to drive your life, and instead begin to fully live a wonderful, meaningful Life, that is FREE!
Blessings, Erin, Bella Bleue
©Bella Bleue Healing, Health & Inspiration for Your Life
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